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Friday, 6 September 2013

Kimmatt Hotel Closed!!!! CPS Claims Victory!!!

The controversial Kimmatt Hotel closed yesterday, it was announced, due to lack of funds, CEO Kimball claimed, "I no longer want to build this hotel. I am starting a theme park instead!"

The CPS (Creeper Protection Society) however has a different story, "our protests are what forced the closure. The willful destruction of Creeper habitat using lava had to end and it did! Creepers are dangerous but suicidal mobs and they deserve our understanding and protection!"

The Kimble Theme Park is opening soon!

Tuesday, 27 August 2013

The Golden Party Room

The Golden Party Room at the Kimmatt Hotel is for teenagers. We have a beautiful view of the Kimble Bay and we have free cakes for those who book in advance. 1 party table costs 200MCDs. Call us for more information at 1234567890

Wednesday, 21 August 2013

The Lava Lounge at the Kimatt Hotel

The Lava Lounge is for the customers at the Kimatt Hotel to use. One person costs MCD20. We have a smiley barkeeper called Stevie and he will help you by making delicious food and cocktails. 

You can take little children inside - they will love the lava beneath the floor! We have passion fruit juice, apple juice and other soft drinks. 

We also have FREE cake if you bring little children with you! Hope to see you soon in the Lava Lounge!

Controversy as Kimmatt Hotel Uses Lava to Clear Building Site

The Kimmatt Hotel got off to a dramatic, if controversial, start today as Kimball Inc. used lava to clear the building site. We interviewed CEO Kimball on the ethics of using fire to clear forests. Kimball said, 'I thought it would be a quick and safe way to clear these trees away.' When asked about the environmental effects of starting a forest fire Kimball said, 'these trees would be cut down anyway so burning them is not a bad idea. The whole site was cleared in under 10 minutes.'

While the effectiveness of the technique is not in doubt, environmental groups have vowed to stage protests over the burning of earth's precious forests. The Minecraft government issued a statement saying, "this is Kimball's world so he is legally entitled to burn as many trees as he wants. If he filled the world with Lava that would still be within his rights."